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Episode 2 - Betrayal in the Ranks

Faz slapped Craig round the face and put his hands on his breasts. Realising how big they actually were, he smiled.

“Nice…” He said, a grin on his face.

“Ewwww! Faz!” Said Andrew.

“Did you make them that big on purpose, Faz?” Asked Mikey.

“Well… yeah! I mean, big breasts!!!” Replied Faz, still smiling.

Craig was looking around at the futuristic place they were in. Big neon signs seemed to be everywhere… tall buildings… a glass roof that let him see into the stars…. THE HUNTERS GUILD!

“Hey! Guys! The Hunters Guild! Why don’t we go on a quest down on Ragol?! Should be fun!!!” Said Craig suddenly.

The others looked over at the guild and thought for a second. Faz took his hands off his breasts and walked over to it. He turned and looked at the others.

“I believe we should! It would be very cool to fight monsters in person!” He said, putting is hands on his hips.

Andrew turned to Mikey and whispered something in his ear. They both giggled and looked back at Faz, who was looking very suspiciously at them both. Andrew stopped smiling when he saw the look on Faz’s face, and looked around. Mikey, however, carried on giggling.

“What’s so funny now???” Demanded Faz, glaring at Mikey, his hands still placed firmly on his hips.

“Erm… well… you are acting so feminine!!!” Mikey burst out in laughter as Faz took one hand off his hip, scratched his pink hair and let his wrist dangle in the air.

Faz looked at himself and realised what they were laughing at. He laughed in a very fake way, and put his arms to his sides.

Meanwhile, Craig was looking out at the beautiful cityscape below, thinking of how damn lucky they were to be in this fantastic game. They would certainly have something great to write about when they got out! If they got out…

“CRAIG! We’re going into the Hunters Guild! Hurry up!” Shouted Mikey, as they headed into the door of the guild.

Craig waved his hand at Mikey, signaling that he would be there in a little bit. He continued to stare out at the hustle and bustle below…

“Right, well, we have a mission that may suit you…” Said the woman behind the counter. “You must rescue a fallen Hunter… he was out on a mission and seems to be… incapacitated. Your help would be much appreciated!”

“Great! We’ll take it!” Said Andrew, smiling broadly.

Faz and Mikey were sat talking while Andy was getting their mission…

“I wonder what’s up with Craig…” Said Faz.

“ I dunno. Probably just flabbergasted by this place. It’s so damn real! I mean, it’s more real than the game itself!!!” Replied Mikey.

“He hasn’t been extremely nice to you lately, you know…” Faz suddenly blurted out.

“What? What do you mean?” Asked Mikey, taken aback by what Faz had just said.

“Well, he says stuff behind your back about your work. Like, that you can’t write, etc. I have tried to ignore it, but it seems he dislikes you.” Faz explained.

“Bastard! Saying stuff behind my back! Well, he actually says stuff to me about Andy behind his back… I remember he once said that Andy ‘shouldn’t give up his day job’, referring to his writing!!!” Said Mikey.

“God… he isn’t such a great person, now I think about it…” realised Faz.

Mikey sat for a second. Andrew walked over and stood with them.

“I got us a mission for us!” Said Andy, excitedly.

“Well, we got a bit of shocking news for you, Andy…” Said Mikey. He proceeded to tell Andrew of his and Faz’s conversation…

Craig turned around and leaned against the barrier, looking at the buildings near him. The beauty of the Phantasy Star Online world was really something to behold. Suddenly, the others marched out of the Hunters Guild and stood before him, weapons in hands.

“Craig… we’d like to talk about something with you…” Said Faz.

“Yes… I believe you have been saying things behind our backs.” Said Andy, swinging his gun by his side.

“Well, we came to a decision about your ‘backstabbing’” Said Mikey, glaring evilly at Craig.

“Wha…? What are you talking about???” Craig said, looking shocked and very guilty.

“You know exactly what we are on about, Craig!” Faz yelled.

“We have decided that, since this is only a game, we are gonna…” Mikey trailed off.

“Well… KILL YOU!” Said Andy, leaning forward to emphasise his point.

Craig jumped as he heard those words, and looked in terror at the trio stood in front of him.

“I think it’ll be nice to take all my anger out on someone… I mean, there is sooooo much to be mad about!” Said Mikey. “I mean, no online play for the European version of Daytona…”

“Dreamcast game cancellations left, right and bleeding centre!” Raged Faz.

“Plus, I am very angry about games such as Metropolis Street Racer and Space Channel 5 being ported to the PS2… I MEAN! SOME OF OUR BEST GAMES!!!” Raged Andy, stepping forward.

Craig didn’t know what to do, what to say!

“On top of that, you betray us, Craig. That’s something we can’t stand…” Said Faz, also stepping forward.

“Well, in this beautiful world, we have decided that there is only one way to kill you” Said Andy.

“And it ain’t with weapons! Oh no!!!” Said Mikey, stepping forward.

“Ho…how will you…k…kill me then?” Asked Craig, still in a state of shock.

The other three looked at each other and smiled.

“Death by falling!” Said Mikey as he walked right up to Craig and grabbed him by the armour.

“Oh no! Please!!!” Pleaded Craig.

“I’m afraid this is what you get if you mess with us!” Said Faz, still smiling.

“Don’t worry! You’ll only die in PSO… not in the real world. To be honest, this is simply for our own satisfaction!” Andrew said, smiling.

Faz and Andy stepped up to Craig, and also grabbed his armour.

“Bye Craig!” the three of them shouted in unison as they pushed Craig backwards to his virtual death.

As Craig fell, he screamed:

“I QUUUUIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!”

Faz, Andrew and Mikey all laughed out loud, and turned around, walking away from the edge. Pleased with what they had done, they continued to walk up to the teleportation device situated on this level of Pioneer 2. They all stepped into it and the teleportation began. The trip closed their eyes as bright lights surrounded them…

Faz opened his eyes to the sound of an engine roaring. He looked straight ahead of him to see a dark street, lit by the headlamps of a car he appeared to be in and streetlights ahead.

“Where the hell am I now???” Faz asked himself.

“ I have no clue mate, but I think we need to get moving!!!” Said Mikey from behind him.

Faz jumped and turned to see Mikey and Andy both sat in the back seat.

“Faz, we seem to be in a race! By the looks of things, the race has just started!!!” Said Andy, looking at Faz.

“Crap! I’d best get moving then… I guess…” Faz said, turning to look out of the windscreen. “Erm… how do I drive this thing???”

 

MAKE SURE YOU TUNE IN, SAME TIME, SAME PLACE NEXT TIME TO FIND OUT WHERE THE NEWLY REDUCED-BY-ONE-MEMBER TEAM HAS TELEPORTED TO!

WILL FAZ FIGURE OUT HOW TO DRIVE THE CAR?

HAS FAZ STILL GOT BREASTS???

WILL CRAIG RETURN (I BLOODY HOPE NOT… BITCH…)???

WHERE THE HELL IS SAM???

WHY DIDN’T THEY DO THE COOL PSO MISSION! I WANTED TO SEE THAT!!!! (*cries like a girl*)

FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON…

THE SAGA OF THE STAFF!!!

 

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Column by:

Andrew

 

Episode 1 >>

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