Click here to go to the main page



Join our mailing list and receive the latest Dreamcast info every week:


The Saga of the Staff – Episode 7

‘One becomes two..’

The four looked at each other, completely dumbfounded.

“You can’t make us do this!!! I won’t choose!” Faz shouted.

“Me neither!” Sam and Mikey both said in unison.

“Well, I guess I wouldn’t mind if Mikey left the group…” Andy said.

The other three stared at him, especially Mikey, who looked a bit upset.

“What???” Andy looked at them, puzzled.

“Well, since you refuse to choose who it is you want to go, and who you want to join you, I will have to make the choice for you!!!” The deep voice said. “Get ready to be transported to your next adventure!!!”

“Wait!!! Why are we here??? Why were we sucked into this place???” Sam asked… however, it was too late. Bright light surrounded him… and then…

Faz looked around him. He seemed to be in a game still… but he wasn’t sure which one. The bright colours… they reminded him of Phantasy Star Online…

“Faz! We’re in the Principal’s Office!” Andy exclaimed.

Faz spun round quickly to see Andy stood there in the same attire he had been in the first time they had been in PSO. However, he noticed two other figures stood behind Andy. One seemed to be about Andy’s height. She was wearing orange PVC… she had pink hair…

“Oh my god!!! Ulala is with us!!!” Faz let out a cry of excitement.

Andy turned to see Ulala, but there was a much taller figure behind her. It stood at a height of around 8 foot… it was ugly and mutated… it had a long black trench coat and a rocket launcher on its shoulder…

“YIKES! We have the Nemesis here too!!!” Andy yelled.

“Oh my god!” Faz said.

“STARS!!!” Roared the Nemesis.

However, it just stood there… it didn’t seem to want to hurt them.

“I think it likes us!” Faz said.

Suddenly, Ulala piped up…

“Good evening space cats, this is Ulala coming atcha’ from the Principal’s Office! Tonight I’m investigating into why Farooq Asif and Andrew Dickinson are stuck in this world of games!” She said.

Suddenly, she strolled off towards the principal behind her, doing that funky walk… in time to music that neither Faz nor Andy could hear!

“Oh god… I’m stuck with three morons!” Faz sighed.

Andy looked puzzled, as he counted only two other people besides himself and Faz…

The pair and Nemesis walked over to where Ulala had gone. She was now stood by the principal, and dancing… for no apparent reason.

“Hello! Welcome! I take it you are here to find out your purpose?” The principal suddenly said.

“What?” Faz asked.

“The voice in the blackness said that you would find out your purpose here, no?” The principal said.

“Well, he said that we were to find out our purpose, yes.” Faz said.

“Well, I can tell you that purpose.” The principal said.

There was a long silence… broken only by the noise of Ulala’s shoes hitting the floor as she pulled off some superb dance moves.

“Well? What is our purpose here then???” Faz asked, angry at the silence.

“Ah! Well, your purpose here is…” Andy cut off the principal…

“OI! I am not a moron!!!”  

The bright light cleared, and Sam could again see. In front of him stood Mikey… but he couldn’t see the other two. He looked around, and could make out 2 other figures… but they were only silhouettes in the distance. He quickly scanned their location to see where they actually were. There seemed to be no-one else around… the place was basically deserted. There was the Hard Rock Café right next door to them…

“Crazy Taxi 2!!!” Mikey shouted.

His voice echoed around the empty streets.

“Yeh… but where is everyone???” Sam asked.

Mikey looked behind him, seeing Sam. He then scanned the place for Faz and Andy.

“Where did the other two go???” Mikey asked.

“I have no clue… but there are 2 silhouettes in the distance… the sun is making it hard for me to see them…” Sam said.

“Lets go check it out. It could be them!” Mikey said.

Sam nodded, and the two walked down the street towards the silhouettes… As they got closer, the outlines of the two figures began to be more defined… and it became obvious that these two were not Faz and Andy.

“I think I know who they are…” Sam said.

“Well, the one with the big pig tails is obvious…” Mikey said.

“I think we’ve gained Aika and Ryo… and lost Faz and Andy!” Sam said.

“I see…” Said the figure that was now distinguishable as Ryo Hazuki.

“NOOOOOOOO!!!” Mikey cried as he heard the character speak.

Mikey and Sam stood in front of the two characters that had now joined their team.

“Hello Ryo… Aika…” Sam said.

“YAAAAAAAY!” Aika replied.

“Have you seen any sailors around here?” Ryo asked in reply.

Sam closed his eyes and slapped himself on the forehead. He was stuck with one of the most excitable, and one of the most boring… and GAY characters ever!!!

“Erm… can you say, over excited!?” Mikey said to Sam.

“Yeh… Aika is always like that…” Sam said. The two of them looked at her.

Her eyes had now changed, so they made her look VERY angry in that Japanese cartoon way…

“Oops! We made her mad!” Sam said.

“Well, what are we going to do now???” Mikey asked, looking around.

“I have no clue…  maybe we should see where everyone has gone in this game…” Sam suggested.

“Maybe later, okay?” Ryo said.

“Oh god…” Mikey grimaced.

“Lets get going…” Sam said, beginning to walk.

However, as he stepped forward, he heard a noise… like a car screeching round the corner…

“I think there’s something coming!!!” Mikey said.

“Ya think?!” Sam said, sarcastically.

Suddenly, an orange cab flew round the corner and stopped right in front of them. A black woman with her blonde hair up in two buns was in the drivers seat. Cinnamon was here to pick them up…  

“You were saying???” Faz turned to the principle again, smiling.

“Well, your purpose here is to…” The principal was again cut off…

“What’s up… I’m feeling kinda funky!” Ulala exclaimed.

“You what?” Faz cried, looking weirdly at her…

“OH CRAP!!!” Andy said.

Faz turned around to see Andy staring up at… the Nemesis dancing!!! Ulala was turned in his direction, and suddenly, the Nemesis blurted out…

“Up, down, up, down, chu, chu, chu!!!”

Andy grinned widely. This was quickly followed by him bursting out in a fit of laughter. He dropped to his knees and held his stomach, as he was laughing so hard.

“Up, down, BOING, down, BOING, BOING, chu!!!” Ulala completely screwed up her moves.

Andy continued to laugh as Faz looked on in confusion.

“What the hell???” Faz said.

Andy managed to stop himself from laughing… just. He turned to Faz.

“I think that these two are having trouble fitting into another game. Ulala can’t seem to control the urge to dance… and her overpowering influence seems to be affecting Nemesis who is not only friendly to us here, but as confused as we are as to why the hell he is in this place!!!” Andy said, seeming to sum up the problem quite well.

“Well, what do we do about it???” Faz asked.

“I’m not sure there is anything we can do… unless we try taking out their organs through their noses, embalming them then wrapping their corpses in bandages…” Andy replied.

Faz just looked at Andy in that way that Andy could never get.

“What did I say now???” Andy asked.

“Never mind…” Faz replied. “Look, it’ll do us no good to stay around here. We need to move on. If you take these guys back to Pioneer 2, I’ll talk to the principal and find out our purpose. We’ll meet by the Storage area in a few minutes, okay?”

“Sure thing!” Andy said. He turned and grabbed the other two by their arms. He walked over to the transporter, but turned to look at Faz one last time.

“Oh, and Faz…” Andy said.

“Yes?” Faz said.

“You’re still a girl!” Andy giggled.

He turned and dragged the other two through the transporter. Faz looked down at the costume he was wearing… the same one as when they had first appeared in Phantasy Star Online.

“D’oh!” Said Faz.  

“I don’t like this…” Sam said, looking at the streets whizzing past, devoid of life and activity.

“I love this! This is so cool!!!” Mikey said, a big smile plastered on his face as the taxi drove down the street at an unbelievable speed.

Sam looked around at the other two, who just seemed to be sat there, doing absolutely nothing.

“They look lifeless…” Sam pointed out to Mikey.

Mikey glanced round at them and nodded. They certainly did look lifeless… Aika’s hair didn’t even move! Suddenly, a noise came from the constantly closed mouth of Aika.

“Ahahahahahahahaha!!!” She seemed to be laughing…

“What the hell is she laughing at???” Mikey asked.

“I have no…” Sam couldn’t finish his sentence as the taxi stopped all of a sudden.

“I think we get out here…” Sam said.

“I see…” Ryo replied.

The four all got out of the taxi, and then it roared off down the street. They were left standing on the sidewalk…

“So, what do we do now?” Mikey asked.

“I have no clue, Mikey. She just dropped us off here, for no reason…” Sam said.

As he said this, he realised that he didn’t actually know where they were. He looked around, but they didn’t seem to be in Crazy Taxi 2 any longer. To their left was a steep drop… almost like a street from San Francisco…

“I’m not quite sure which game this is, as there are so many which feature this city, but I can almost definitely say we are in San Francisco or a place modelled around it…” Sam said.

Mikey looked down at the floor, and noticed to his right that there seemed to be a funny moving walkway… it was white and very short with arrows on it pointing forward…

“Oh my god! It’s Sonic Adventure 2!!! We’ve been brought to Sonic Adventure 2!!!!” Mikey cried.

“Ah, good!” Ryo said.

“Moons! Give me strength!!!” Aika yelled out of the blue.

“Eek! I don’t like this!” Mikey said.

Then, like before, the noise of a vehicle approaching could be heard. However, this time it sounded a whole lot bigger!

“Oh no!!! The truck! Quick, lets go!!!” Sam cried, as the Truck could be seen coming from their right!

All four of them turned, and began to run as fast as they could down the hill, but Mikey ran up to the moving walkway… and he was sent flying down the hill at an incredible speed…

“WOOHOO!!!” Mikey cried as he whooshed past the others.  

“Your purpose here is simple…” The principal said.

“Okay… What is it then???” Faz asked, becoming a bit impatient now.

“Your purpose here is to…” The principal paused.

“What??? What is it? For gods sake just tell me!!!” Faz cried.

“You must collect…” Again, he paused.

“WHAT???” Faz got so angry, that he leant over and slapped the principal round the face!!!

“OWWW! What was that for?” The principal asked.

“Sorry… but I just want you to tell me what I have to collect!!!” Faz said.

“Well, if you’re going to treat me like that, you can get stuffed!” The principal said, holding his cheek where Faz had slapped him pretty hard!

“Oh no! I’m sorry Mr. Principal! I didn’t mean to! I swear! I’m just desperate to know what we are here for!!! PLEEEEAAAASE tell me!!! Please!?” Faz pleaded.

The principle stood for a few seconds, silent. Faz waited…

“Alright…” The principal said. “The reason you have been brought here is to collect the hundred tokens of SEGA…” The principal said.

Faz just stood there.

“The what? What are those for???” Faz said after a small silence.

“Well, since the time of the Mega Drive, SEGA have been here for the gamers of this world. They have released consoles and brought joy to the lives of millions with their wondrous games. People were living in fairy tales! However, as with all fairy tales, there has to be a villain. In this case, SEGA met its foe in the form of Sony. This giant electronics company decided it wanted to make some money from the market that SEGA and its brother Nintendo were the kings of. The people flocked to Sony’s console, and left SEGA and Nintendo with only a few dedicated fans. It wasn’t until the dawn of the Dreamcast that we game folk were able to communicate with each other and find out what had happened to our home and the homes of our ancestors through the miracle of the internet. Our home has been dying for a while now, and it seems that the only way to save it is to collect these one hundred tokens. They were scattered throughout Dreamcast games using the Internet by an unknown man who wanted to try and save our home from the threat of Sony’s new console.” Said the principal.

Faz, again, just stood there. He understood what the man had just said, but it seemed just a little too far fetched…

“What about the games SEGA are making for other consoles?” Asked Faz.

“Their home will be on their respective consoles… however, it will not be a true home. But we are Dreamcast games. Okay, we’re not all exclusive anymore, but we are still on the Dreamcast… and we need to keep our home alive!” Replied the principal.

“All consoles die eventually though!  You need to give way to the next in line!” Faz said.

“You are right. However, in this case, there is no ‘next in line’. The Dreamcast is the last SEGA console… and even if the rumours of a new console in 2004 are true, that is still a long way off. We need a life here till then… and beyond!”

Faz thought this over. Their purpose here was to find these tokens… but what would happen when they were all found?

“What happens when we have found all the tokens then?” Faz asked.

“I have no clue. However, rumour tells us that once they are found, the finders will be transported to a place unknown… and face a final challenge which will keep the Dreamcast alive if it is won!” The principle replied. “Now, I would go and find your friends… and not just the ones down on Pioneer 2. The others need to know aswell…”  

“Lets get outta here!” Aika cried as she ran down the hill just behind Ryo and Sam.

Mikey was still far in front, but he was slowing down now. The truck was gaining on the three in the back, and the only way they could get out of its way would be to hit a speed-up like Mikey had done.

“Mikey! If there is a speed-up coming up, tell us which side to run on so we’ll hit it!!!” Sam yelled to Mikey.

“Okay!!!” Mikey shouted back.

He looked out for where the next one would be… and spotted one coming up on his right.

“RIGHT!!!” He shouted.

He then ran over it, speeding further down, towards a giant archway that was sure to stop the truck.

Sam and the other two moved over to the right hand side in time to go over the speed-up. They then flew through the archway that was coming up, and stopped near Mikey. They looked behind them to witness the truck crashing into the archway.

“YAAAAAAY!!!” Aika shouted.

“Thank god for that!” Sam said, wiping sweat from his brow…










NB: Andrew Dickinson does not HATE Sony… he just believes they are one of the causes of the Dreamcast’s demise. He would still purchase a PS2 for its line-up of great up-coming titles!!! He thought that needed clearing up!!!

Andrew Dickinson,




Which next-gen console will you support most?
X Box
Game Cube
Playstation 2
I quit gaming!


Please visit our sponsors to help keep our site running



All copyrighted images and names are trademarks of their respective copyright holders.  All original work is copyrighted by Farooq Asif.  Unauthorised reproduction of any material from this site is strictly prohibited.      © 2001